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Irene Hopkins
The Seven Circles of Hormone Hell

Nature is supposed to be perfect, right? So whose idea was it for mothers to go through menopause just about the time their children are deep in the throes of the teenage years? Teenagers and menopausal women are probably the most hormone-ridden beings known in the natural world. “Mood Swings R Us” could be the name of a store carrying products to help with these two intense transitions in our lives.

I’m forty-eight years old, and as much as I hate to admit it, I am in the time they call the “change of life”--the one characterized by dark moods and shocking moments of disbelief in front of the mirror. It used to be that my hormonal “episodes” came once in a great while. Just a wave now and then. But lately the waves are coming closer together, and there are days when I feel like one is going to wash me away. There’s nothing I can do but just wait it out.

I was at my yoga class recently when, toward the end of class, a student asked the teacher if she knew any good poses or yogic ways to counteract the effects of menopause. There was a slight beat, and I couldn’t resist filling it with the notion that if she did possess some secret to help women during this time, she would not be our yoga teacher. She would be a very wealthy woman, living on a remote island in an undisclosed location…

Excerpted from I Wanna Be Sedated: 30 Writers on Parenting Teenagers Copyright 2005 by Irene Hopkins